Dear Constance,

I’m 24, female, and I have a weird problem I need help with. I’m still a virgin…at 24. I know it’s not something special, but I didn’t date in high school and didn’t go to college, so I feel like I’ve missed out on prime time dating opportunities. Hookups aren’t really for me, and that whole idea just doesn’t make sense to me. I just…go to bed with a guy I met 2 hours ago? That sounds strange. I’m not that person. But I’m afraid that if I date guys my age, they will expect sex right away or someone with more experience that I don’t have. I know this probably sounds weird, but I’d like to start dating and possibly have sex if I feel connected. How do I get started?

Dating in Pittsburgh

Dear Dating,

Thanks for writing in. There is no reason to be ashamed that you haven’t dated anyone yet or haven’t had sex. We all do things at our own pace. Life isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. The first time having sex should be special, and you’ll want to take it slowly at first. Make sure that you know your body and if anything makes you uncomfortable, say so. Many women are uncomfortable speaking out during sex, even after years of experience, so don’t go along with his plan just because. Speak up! Dating during this pandemic is difficult, but the best way to get this underway is most likely online dating, as in-person meetings right now are difficult. The best app to try is Bumble because it’s essentially the ladies’ choice. You get to initiate the conversation, and you can look for guys looking for more than another number to add to their body count. You can also try Hinge as well; I’ve heard of positive things from there as well. The most important advice I can give is to have fun, have good conversations, and look for someone worthy of all the things you are. Good Luck!

Trying New Things

Hi Constance, 

I’m an older woman (50s), and at this stage of my life, after two divorces, I’ve decided that I’m done with men. I’ve had some…thoughts about dating women in my youth, but that wasn’t a thing back then, and now I’m single, my children have great families of their own, and I think I’d like to explore dating other women! I know it is a bit strange, but I’d like to explore it. I haven’t told my kids yet, but I think I’d like to do this. What should I do? I have no idea how this works!

Crossing Over in Atlanta

Dear Crossing,

This sounds exciting! The 50s are a great decade to start living your true purpose and living your best truth. Today’s modern dating takes place in a variety of places but especially online. You might be surprised at how many young women in their 30s and 40s might be interested in a person like you! Don’t limit yourself. When things are open once again, I’d recommend seeking out hobbies and organizations where you are like to meet other bisexual or lesbian women. You can also try popular lesbian dating apps. Take good pictures, be yourself, and, most importantly, have fun with this new stage of life. Nothing about this is weird or strange. We live in a more open time now, and now is a great time to explore all aspects of your life. Good Luck! 

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